Ahh!!! I can’t wait till valentine’s day!! Why you ask? Hehe–while some ppl can’t wait for the sappy themes of V-Day, I have only ONE thing on my mind…

Last year, for Lent, I gave up one of the cloest loves of my life… no it wasn’t my love and companion (Tauri ), nor was it anything typical… it was… CHERRY COKE! For those that don’t know me from last year, I suffered from an acute addiction to Coke Cola (pepsi sucks!)…

I had so much coke (upwards fo 6 cans a day) that I built a spiring tower on my desk:

Beautiful no?

But… I did what everyone thought was the impossible, and on Valentine’s day (partially inspired by Beverly’s one soda a year plan– that’s just crazy )… at Noodles in Bolingbrook with Kalishma~Cherry Coke became a part of my past.

Granted, i did switch over to Mountain Dew… Easter came and went, and i thought… eh… why not keep it up? I decided a YEAR could be a bold goal… and up until this day, I have not touched a DROP of coke, pepsi, or any other caramel colored carbonated beverage.

About 10 months through, on New Years Eve when Felix brought a SPECIAL EDITION of SPICED Coke to James’ house (i dont even know what that is), I had a HUGE craving… the flavor began to fill my mind and my mouth began to water. I almost gave in…

Yet I stood strong, in face of the greatest internal pressure… I said no! and walked to the other corner of the house while others enjoyed the fascinating beverage. I left saddened, as the opportunity was lost. The cravings went away that night, perhaps forever. I dont even remember what coke tastes like now…

But Valentine’s day now approaches once again… my committment nears its natural end. What now?

Help!!! What to do??

Things have been quite odd lately… like… lately I’ve been wanting to raise the barreier between my sub-lives… business (AIESEC), personal, family… could this be the effect of college and maturing?

Maybe. But oddly, it feels like regression.

MUNUC XVII was awesome–made me realize…

how small high school kids are… not that I’ve grown too much since then…

how quickly the last year passed, it’s hard to believe that it’s been an entire year since I last sat there as a delegate… and hiding in peoples’ rooms, near curfew (fun fun!) debating how to fight Colombian drug lords which are sadly so integral in maintaining livable conditions in South America. There’s something about MUN which makes getting to know people very quickly very easy–

But this time I realized how easily it is to lose touch with friends, both new and old. At the end of our four days of committeee last year, our entire committee (of 30-some ppl) exchanged screennames and emails… yet I didn’t even remember a single name this year. sad…

Ah… what am I doing? I should be doing math homework now… mleh, je le deteste!

It’s late so I’m not gonna write much more, even though my past record suggests that if I don’t deliberate this now, I never will. So here’s the dealizite:

I felt so sure as of last night, between what fascinates me and what satisfies me, and I now have absolutely no coherent idea of what I want to do anymore. It’s just like that. That’s not to say that  i don’t have any ideas–contrary, I have a LOt of things I want to do. But to dedicate my life-career to, that future remains behinds the clouds. Maybe if I write it all down, it’ll start to make more sense…

Cognitive science.
Artificial Intelligence
Neuroscience.
Material Science and Engineering / with an emphasis on biomaterials and polymers
Bioengineering
Some other sort of engineering…
Oh and of course, English.

I think it’s kind of funny that I’m going back to engineering. In spite of liking physics, biology, (though not math) for some reason, I deliberately strayed awat from engineering. Nanotech was always fascinating, and biotech/bioengineering… so much stuff. Somehow I think it might be that it was TOO enticing… that I just wanted to break away and do my own thing… which turned out to be English. Neither being really bad, or really good at it, I could take it and float along… of course… I never intended to “float along” at all. Now, after a full semester of contemplation and exploration, that future seems more and more like… a misuse of precious time.

As for engineering… that is a little bigger of a realization. I’ve learned over the past few–[expand later]

Cognitive Neuroscience. It has a nice ring to it. Even Kaidi says it sounds smart. Lol, of course it *sounds* smart it’s all about brains. It’s cool stuff. Really–who wouldn’t be fascinated at understanding the Mind?

But acade—actualyl ya know what–I’m gonna give this a break. Yeah. Listening to Vienna Teng, I have lost all motivation to continue writing for the time being. But let’s just say that what I thought was my future has now gone the way of “web-dropped course”.

On a more lovelier note, check out this awesome site!
http://artpad.art.com/?ialr24z49fc (by kaidi)