Author: skyrien

Blogs everywhere, and nowhere

I’ve spent the last hour trying to figure out which blog of mine to continue writing in, and couldn’t come up with a good enough reason to pick and stick with one. I’ve got a whole gamut of sites, from Xanga, LJ, Vox,, Live Spaces, my own MSFT blog, Facebook notes… each with entirely different audiences. Sigh–what a ridiculous dilemma. You know what? I’m gonna post IN THEM ALL! And then see what happens. Take that indecision!

Not like I’d even know how to write even if I had picked one. I can’t seem to form coherent paragraphs anymore… or think past the first few words of a sentence… maybe it has to do with the constant high-on-caffeine feeling that I’ve been putting myself into these days.

Not like I’d know what to write about even if I could. Sure there’s been a lot going on, I’ve had crazy insights about life and all that over the past few years that I’ve been relatively absent from the bloggosphere… Of course, my thoughts still want to get out but, for some reason, the motivation to put thought to strings of words just isn’t there.

I think that’s why I’ve been so prolific on Facebook PSUs and Twitter these days–it’s ridiculously easy to just do a little mind dump; a fleeting thought–which basically used to be how most of my blog entries started out anyway. Like a recent Wired post suggested, maybe that’s exactly why Twitter is catching on–140 characters is just enough space to drop a well crafted thought. No filler, no literary sugar, just the raw thought that you’ve been meaning to share. Simple right?

Twitter definitely has a place in the realm of social communication, but the fact that it’s replacing more sophisticated methods of social discourse is disturbing. Whatever happened to those long sweeping ridiculously unnecessary blog post from our teenage angst days? Sure there were plenty of whiny, pseudo-artsy, pointlessly drivel-y, wordy, useless entries out there but even those were very satisfying to write and entertaining to read. I remember posting about five years back on Xanga (2004) that I hoped blogging wasn’t just a fad. Well, since then, it’s definitely caught on with the political pundits and social media producers of the world, but it seems to have vanished from our day-to-day social lives.

A damn shame. Anyway, I guess I do have plenty I want to write about–and can on occasion form thoughts that are longer than 140 characters. That’s good to know. 🙂

Biannual thoughts on life

Do you think it’s possible to live for years, living somewhere else, doing something else, being someone else, than who you were meant to be. What does it mean when you surround yourself in a reality as real as any, yet completely different from all the other choices in your life? As I’ve gone along the various branches of my life, I’ve occasionally wondered how different things would have been had I made some different choices in life; in some other parallel timeline, I might not be in my little Seattle apartment (which is becoming to feel more and more like home every day/week/month that goes by), and instead… instead what?

Is there a point to think of any of these alternate paths? There are so many tiny choices I make every day that have the potential to make far-reaching changes in my life: I could’ve gone a little slower that night, and maybe avoided that nasty indestructible pole; I could’ve been in a different mood the moment I made the decision to come out West; and things would’ve been a world away from what they are.

Meh, I think I’m just in a thinking mode again. I do this every couple years; fall into a metacognitive frenzy, and completely rethink my life and why I’m living and thinking the way I am. In doing so, I’ll wonder if the world I’m in now is the one I want to be in the next couple years. Haha, if this was college, it might be when I’d consider changing my major . I’m not a freshman in college, I’m a freshman in the working world; the “MSFT Starting Class of 9/2/2008”, and I’ve just started my second semester (or should I do quarters?). Whatever the past 4 months have been, it’s a beautiful time to start again, and, that is a great time to reaffirm what I’ve been doing so far.

In the end, I can’t answer the question I started this entry with, but in another “semester” I think I will be able to. Knowing me, after a phase like this, I know I’ll reaffirm what’s important to me, and realize and remember for the next 2 years that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. And that reason may be to ultimately be here, or maybe just to learn from the experience and to go home … wherever “home” may be.

Life is beautiful, and like Frost told me on a pillow once, if there’s anything I’ve learned, is that “It goes on…”

Oh, happy 2009! This is the year of the Ox! Fellow Oxen (1985 people!), this is our year! It’s time to show this world what we’re all about!

RIP Xela (8/16/2008 – 12/20/2008)

So… with barely 4 months of life in her, Xela is no more. While driving down 148th Ave NE in Redmond, late Saturday evening, I suddenly lost control, slipped about 90 degrees, and the driver-side door of my car met the broadside of an indestructible pole at about 30 MPH . Needless to say, the damage was crippling: one second I’m driving down the road (straight line, flat), the next, I’m seeing this metal thing come at me really really fast, and the next, I hear a boom(!), a flash of light, and get the wind blown out of my lungs. The window and sunroof, shattered instantly, and the airbag exploded blocking the pole and probably saving my life (or at least, my brain).



It reminded me of the time I fell off the monkey bars in kindergarten; I couldn’t breathe for about 10 seconds, but had the presence of mind to check to see if I had broken any bones. I don’t know how long I was there, but I remember knocking outside my door, and some kind strangers were saying that they called 911, and asked if I was okay.

I slowly came to my senses, and stumbled out of the car:



What scared me most was how the pole’s impact was exactly where my head would have been, hadn’t it been for the airbag. With it, I survived, with only a few bruises and glass related cuts. In any case, I’m happy to be perfectly fine, 2 days after the crash. Xela, my beloved Scion tC however, is no more…