Ah, so it would seem that certain people still in China are still reading my LJ, and complaining about its repetitive content. Well, I suppose, as life can often seem repetitive. But when you’re a couple hundred (or a couple thousand) miles away, it’s hard to tell that it really isn’t.

Then again, to write about moving forward would be repetitve too–given that I’ve already written about it once. SO, I suppose I’ll settle for writing about how damn glad I am that summer school is over. Now, as most people are complaining about the winding down of summer, I feel like it’s just beginning. Well, actually, I feel like it’s never started, and that we’re going straight back into school.

“Where has my summer gone?” I could be asking. I could be complaining about not having enough time (we never do) or about wanting more than the 10 days left for me here (always wanting just a little more). I could be thinking about the things I can’t change, the things that’ll
remind me that this is just a moment, like everything else in life, and that no matter how much I try to enjoy it, it’ll be over, and maybe that means there’s no point.

Yeah, like hell I am. My most recent conclusion is that I don’t think too much; I just don’t always think about the right way. My summer has been everything that a summer should be, I’ve been productive (8 more credit hours!), relaxing (a month and a half of *no* summer school is plenty of time), significant (I have (and am) a penguin now!), fun (yes most deff.), and with the outcome as it is, unregretable. There’s always things to be complaining about. I dwell on them all too much, and given the life I have, I have no right to be complaining about it. So I won’t.

Exciting isn’t it? When you’re alive and you know it; when you know things will end, and it only makes you want to enjoy it more. Life is good, guys. I’m happy.

~*~

I’ve made the recent discovery that being taken has its costs. And no, I’m not talking about opportunity cost (which isn’t nearly worth as
much, I think). I’m talking about $$$

(all values are estimates, and may not be valid in a court of law)

Direct costs(events, things):
$396
Indirect costs (transportation, fuel, food, etc… that are components of other committments): $415

Not to mention the countless hundreds of hours invested in communication, thought, and physical presence.

Now, add this to the $$$ spent on summer school, and over the summer I’ve spent nearly $4,000 of money that I am now so desperate to earn. Yes, I definitely need a job… ah… but the experience, is mastercard. I’m defining the moments of my life as I go…

~*~

<CONSOL>
Okay. Restart! I just a wrote a fairly long Xanga entry, before having it rejected in favor of this new entry that has yet to be written. Ah… it’s been a while since I metacognated here hasn’t it?

I guess it’ll have to be a bit longer; I think I am a little too tired to write anything coherently that I expect people to read…

(to be appended later)

</CONSOL>

I have discovered, with aid of the internet that I…

*Am a realist
*Am a noncombatant in the game of love
*Have a healthy mix of trust and skepticism
*Am otherwise… becoming what I’d call normal…

So weird isn’t it? Two years ago, I’d have been raving in mock outrage at the idea of becoming normal, yet somehow it doesn’t seem so bad. All a part of growing up I tell ya.

Now question at hand: is this a good thing?

“Wow…”
“What?”
“The ironies of life. In four months, you’ve helped me realize something that I didn’t understand for twenty years.”
“I’m telling you, it’s the age. You always were the slower one, Kumquat.”
“Ah, maybe. I’d rather like to believe that I’m just learning faster than you ever can.”
“Humph. So what is this ‘slow’ realization of yours about?”
“It has to do with truth, absolute and relative, love, and
purpose. But most importantly, perspective.”
“I see… You must remember though, I don’t believe in love.”
“So you say, but you must remember, that I do, dear Cassandra.”
“As always, you’re being blind.”
“And you’re a fool.”
“We all have flaws, right?”
“Yep. It’s a part of being human. Life’s just a matter of choosing the right ones to keep.”
“And then?”
“And then? Then you can truly live. And do what we do best: shag the living hell out of life and be happy about it.”
“Haha… always the idealist.”
“Yes… but by choice.”

[KsQ micro-dialogue 1]