Author: skyrien

aka: Skyrien.
scientist, engineer, pursuer of knowledge, maker of things

The Deceptive

by skyrien

So… things have been a little complicated lately. But not complicated in the ways I usually complicate things. For once, the bulk of my complications seem to be external, and inside, in my mind, things make perfect sense. Seeing as no one is reading this entry (:-P) I suppose I can deliniate more than I normally would (also since I don’t have a Xanga anymore).

I’ve seen/heard/been somewhat involved in, the stupid politics that surrounds the female social culture. And it is utterly ridiculous how much of one’s judgement of another is based on heresay, rumors, gossip, secrets that are told under promist to protect the people they implicate, masks of “Oh no, it’s all ok! trust me ::smiles::”……”i hate you @&%*&*@!*#*!). It’s all politics, I’ve been invovled in it, I know. But how many facets of personality can one have? All of this, comes from an incomplete acceptance of self, a selfish desire for friends, and biased prejudices of others. That’s all it is really. You can know what people do, but how can you know why they do it until you get to konw them? And how can you call yourself human, when you don’t accept the flaws in yourself that you so clearly see in your neighbor? How can you call your “friend” evil, when your lies to protect yourself wrap you in so many layers of averice and falsehood?

How much can you judge one person based on what others of this personality say? One of the greatest things that emerged from high school for me is an understanding of myself, flaws included. Sure I’ve been asinine once in a while and actually, I enjoy the power of being able to do so. I don’t deny that I’m imperfect–I don’t like some of the thigns I do, but I at least understand what makes me do so. Can you say the same? Can you say the same for this person you think is evil?

Can you say in public that you live by a certain moral code when in private with your “true friends” you violate that code whenever you want some fun? If you can, what can you say about “true” yourself? If you do, then what does that make you?

I don’t know where I’m going with this, so I’ll conclude with the promise that even though none of us (not me, and not you either) are perfect followers of any moral code, I will do my best to accept what I am and what I do, and as much as I can, understand why you do what you. You are not evil, I believe that because I believe in human imperfection. Really, in all your lies, and falsities, you are my friend, perfectly human. And so am I.

A chase down University Ave

by skyrien

Ayyaaaa woooooow–groogggggy!!! ::rubs grogginess out of eyes::

I just woke up form my first nightmare-ish dream in months! I love how daytime nap can be so action packed and amazing in less than an hour! I don’t remember a HUGE portion of it, but the last five minutes are seared into my memory. I was Jack Bauer, and at someone else’s home probably protecting it, there was a golden retriever at the home, I was playing with it, when the doorbell rang. It was a sunny day, awesome to go outside in, but I wasn’t expecting any visitors.
I half-openned the door.

The dude was white, with long, pale blond hair. About 5’10” with a gray jacket, gray-blue eyes. “Are you ______?” (I couldn’t remember what he called me) “Yes,” I said–to which he instantly replied, “Thank you for your vehicle, sir!” and TOOK the car keys from the key rack by the door. (personal note, never put a key rack by the door).

This was trouble, that much I knew immediately. I picked up my cell phone (from a coffee table behind me) and kicked the door into his face, but for some reason, I felt incredibly weak and failed to knock him down. In the struggle that ensued, I managed to get the keys out of his hand, saw about eight armed guys in cars and motorcycles, in the road in front of the house. Needed to get out of there! Blondie didn’t cry out as I stomped on his body and got into my car (which was a blue Honda Odessey) and started the engine. Blondie scrampled up, just as I found the doorlock. “You’re not gonna get far Mr. Bauer.”

This didn’t seem an idle threat, he seemed very convinced. But I didn’t care, I backed a yard, and rolled over the lawn and got the car moving! Or at least as much as a minivan could get by the end of the cul-de-sac. The bikerboys got on their rides, and they were after me! Which way?! I didn’t know where I was or where I was going, but i had the distinct feeling that I was in southern Naperville. Large trees provided a canopy of shade, but just across the road (which read “University Ave”), large fields of tall green grass swayed in the pale golden sunlight. And the bikers were coming up fast. I got out of there.

Horrible acceleration on the minivan btw. Absolutely pitiful. I was stepping on the gas as hard as I could and waited a full 10 seconds to get to 50 MPH. I suppose I was more panicked than I am now I’m writing this because I remember barely being able to dial 9-1-1 before dropping the phone, and it was as straight road but something was nagging at me, saying that I was going the wrong way. I needed to turn the car around. The bikers and their cheap pickup was gaining in the rearview mirror. Up ahead, a road–much like 75th street was ahead. I needed to slow down to turn, but…

Getting closer… 400 ft… … 200 ft… 100…ah whatever! I slammed down the brakes, and made a WIDE angle, getting ready to make a big turn, praying that the stupid minivan wouldn’t go into a roll… JUST as I turned completley around, ONE biker dude sideswiped my car in a terrifyingly loud scraping of metal and glass…

That must have triggered my consciousness and I slowly regained control of my senses… the fear and sounds were still there, but I awoke and looked around. And was in Urbana once more…