Sometimes I feel so very sure of what I’m doing, beyond logic, beyond common sense.
And then there are times that I’m reminded that I really know absolutely nothing at all.
Month: March 2007
Insecure world
I’m feeling oddly insecure right now… back from Colorado, and for the first time in a while, I feel that I actually missed being at school. Here, I’m productive, connected, updated… and to me, it’s reassuring in many ways. Yet… right now, an insecurity lingers.
Maybe it’s the discussion of the recent crime on campus, thefts, assaults, etc… I’m sure it’s nothing out of the ordinary; in a school of forty thousand, crime is bound to be present. It’s probably just because I know several of the recent victims that it shakes me a little deeper down. Still, not much has changed, right?
Another thing I’m noting from tonight, what is with the petty racism on campus? I don’t get it, is it just easier/entertaining/self-assuring to look down on someone and make an empty race-related interjection? What I don’t get is how the offensive, intolerant, ignorant voices are so strong, and so pervasive in the vocal populace. Okay, that’s my long-winded version of asking why the hell these insulting ideas are so damn prevalent, especially at night. With all the years of “tolerance training” that we were taught growing up, why is it that so many people lack it? Meh… I don’t know, but tonight, I’m a little less happy with the way things are, and a little more motivated to do something about it.
The lesson to be learned here for a hope in resolving these tensions over time is one of humility. And in the receiving end of hostilities, more acting, less reacting. And for everyone else, to have a better sense of what to tolerate, and what not to.
Hmm… need to brainstorm for a sustainable solution…
Year 3 – Chapter 10 – The Future , coming up!
Xander’s College Life: Year 3
Chapter 10 – The Future , coming up!
Tis Boulder! Very nice place, and it clearly does not have CORNFIELDS! 
Time for an update, and this time, from Boulder, Colorado! This place is great–so much so, that I feel like I’m vacationing here right now. It feels so weird being here; in many ways, this feels a lot like Naperville; suburb of a much larger city, it has a quaint small town feel. The hotel I’m staying at is the Hotel Boulderado, a very stylish “homely” hotel that’s about 98 years old. The coolest thing: the elevator is HAND OPERATED and has been there since the hotel was built. It’s this awesome little box that feels like it’s going to break, and half the time, misses the actual floor landing. It’s great! .
Fancy lobby!
My “cute” little room on the fifth floor.
The people here are very diverse, not so much in ethnicity, but in lifestyles. In addition to the usual average happy suburban folk, I’ve seen several homeless people with ragged clothes and unruly hair, western type people with big hats, kids going around Pearl Street on Segways, street vendors selling sunglasses and funky hats… it’s VERY outdoorsy, with most of the shops and restaurants having at least part of their services in patios. There’re a LOT of punk kids on skateboards going around the town, and TONS of bikers (even the main roads have bike turn lanes), skiiers, hikers, etc… this is one town where you can’t just stay inside (like I am now… writing this entry… grr…). And after spending most of spring break indoors, this is a welcome change.
Pearl Street Mall
People here don’t know where “U of I” is, unless you actually add, “Illinois”, and “Champaign”. Okay, so that’s not a surprise, but it does give some perspective to how small I’ve been thinking. After living so many years in Illinois, sometimes I forget that everything that I feel makes my life what it is, is it’s just a small part of a much larger world, even in the U.S., and that there are many *many* more people worth meeting than the forty thousand or so on campus (not to say that I don’t love all Illini folk 
). I guess that’s why I’m so keen on getting out of the Midwest, at least for this summer; I feel a thirst inside for new places, new people, and new kinds of living, even if it’s just another state.
Another thing I’ve noticed about Colorado: the distances are HUGE! I mean, I thought Naperville was pretty spread apart with it’s long suburban streets, but here, just getting to Qualcomm from the hotel entailed driving for 15 minutes across an amazing vista of open road… which I am doing on my rental car (’04 Saturn Ion)! That’s right, I, of age 21, have a rental car!
The road between Qualcomm and Boulderado.
Xander’s Saturunis.
Boulder seems to be a great place to live. I’d love to be here for the summer, though, I’m not sure if it’s “city” enough for me.
Anyway. I’m gonna go enjoy what time I have left here, before I fly back to Champaign. (Yes, I am FLYING to Champaign!). Ciao!
Proof that I was here.