Xander’s ________ Life.
Part… what? Chapter ?
My mind is fried. I don’t think I’ve ever been so overwhelmed by life. It’s a terrible feeling; it feels like I’ve lost the ME in my life. If life is a war, I’m at the point where everything has degenerated
into a senseless melee; and then having been clubbed in the head, am
lying somewhere in the between consciousness and oblivion.
Does that make any kind of sense to anyone? This powerless, nearly-defeated, lost-in-mayhem feeling; why can’t I seem to get out of it? Is it just stress? Lots of stress?
Spring break didn’t help at all.
It’s so overwhelming that I can’t focus; I can’t concentrate. I can’t even keep a coherent thought in my mind for longer than it takes to think it. Worst of all (at least in Xanga), I can’t write a straight paragraph without degenerating into a senseless stream of consciousness. Absolutely unacceptable, considering that I need to write a 8-20 page short story by Thrusday. Maybe it’s the effect of being lost right in the middle of college. And I’m bumbling blindly through this mess, and it is beginning to piss me off.
What is it??? 
Mleh. Too much stress… that’s all I can think of. Ay… well, hopefully I’m not losing my cognitive powers… if this is just stress (not to marginalize), at least there’s something I can do about it. Needless to say, this isn’t the best time to be evaluating my life, or making big decisions… I think I just need time to chill, which I haven’t had for WAY too long. In the mean time… I’ll survive where I can. School is a neverending demon, and like I said three months ago, it is our common enemy.
*Sigh…* I need rest…
**napping**
~*~
Oh, in the mean time… apparently my face has something to say:
| What Your Face Says |
xander – i also cannot write in complete sentences (which is worse for me than you whereas i have an actual lit critique paper due and plenty of famous authors make it with stream-of-consciousness-the-harder-it-is-to-distinguish-real-sentences-the-quote-unquote-better-it-is. so there). here’s two cents:
1. don’t worry too much: you won’t lose yourself. i think…
2. don’t forget yourself in the melee.
i know, not helpful, but welcome to it..
just hang in there. i know you can do it. 6 more weeks…..
even though the body is weak, i think the mind and spirit can be stronger as long as u take care of yourself.
alex, the song maybe corny but i like the message. listen to it: soak up the sun by sheryl
part to consider “..i’m gonna tell everyone to lighten up….I’ve got no one to blame, for everytime i feel lame i looking up”
the situation can only ever be as good as you make of it
and lighten up…get out of ur goddamn hole…and chizzout…
u only live once, don’t waste it “bumbing”
also listen to jason mraz-Won’t worry my life away
lolz. chill n nap. 😉 ‘ats all ya need XD
dunt worrie u aint da kinda prsn to lose urself fo long.