Year 2 – Chapter…?

Xander’s ________ Life.
Part… what? Chapter ?

My mind is fried. I don’t think I’ve ever been so overwhelmed by life. It’s a terrible feeling; it feels like I’ve lost the ME in my life. If life is a war, I’m at the point where everything has degenerated
into a senseless melee; and then having been clubbed in the head, am
lying somewhere in the between consciousness and oblivion.

Does that make any kind of sense to anyone? This powerless, nearly-defeated, lost-in-mayhem feeling; why can’t I seem to get out of it? Is it just stress? Lots of stress?

Spring break didn’t help at all.

It’s so overwhelming that I can’t focus; I can’t concentrate. I can’t even keep a coherent thought in my mind for longer than it takes to think it. Worst of all (at least in Xanga), I can’t write a straight paragraph without degenerating into a senseless stream of consciousness.  Absolutely unacceptable, considering that I need to write a 8-20 page short story by Thrusday. Maybe it’s the effect of being lost right in the middle of college. And I’m bumbling blindly through this mess, and it is beginning to piss me off.

What is it???

Mleh. Too much stress… that’s all I can think of. Ay… well, hopefully I’m not losing my cognitive powers… if this is just stress (not to marginalize), at least there’s something I can do about it. Needless to say, this isn’t the best time to be evaluating my life, or making big decisions… I think I just need time to chill, which I haven’t had for WAY too long. In the mean time… I’ll survive where I can. School is a neverending demon, and like I said three months ago, it is our common enemy.

*Sigh…* I need rest…

Oh, in the mean time… apparently my face has something to say:

What Your Face Says
  • xander – i also cannot write in complete sentences (which is worse for me than you whereas i have an actual lit critique paper due and plenty of famous authors make it with stream-of-consciousness-the-harder-it-is-to-distinguish-real-sentences-the-quote-unquote-better-it-is. so there). here’s two cents:

    1. don’t worry too much: you won’t lose yourself. i think…

    2. don’t forget yourself in the melee.

    i know, not helpful, but welcome to it..

  • i think we are totally in the same place. kind of lost some [or all] the will. our bodies are just so tired….

    just hang in there. i know you can do it. 6 more weeks…..

    even though the body is weak, i think the mind and spirit can be stronger as long as u take care of yourself.

  • ps i like how u used the word bumbling. at least i think u tried to cuz bumbing isnt a word 😛
  • u get yo peepee cut off? da fuck is wrong wit u alexander skyrien
  • you can do it! just prioritize…make sure you give yourself time to relax…
  • no worries alex, i have faith in you! be happy!
  • i like my *BUMBING* self!
  • Yeah.  Stress stinks.  ACT in 1.5 weeks. AP in 4.5 weeks… stupid school
  • MEME ME!
  • alex, the song maybe corny but i like the message. listen to it: soak up the sun by sheryl

    part to consider “..i’m gonna tell everyone to lighten up….I’ve got no one to blame, for everytime i feel lame i looking up”

    the situation can only ever be as good as you make of it

    and lighten up…get out of ur goddamn hole…and chizzout…

    u only live once, don’t waste it “bumbing”

  • also listen to jason mraz-Won’t worry my life away

  • lolz. chill n nap. 😉 ‘ats all ya need XD

    dunt worrie u aint da kinda prsn to lose urself fo long.

  • yeah i was at uofI, and I was definately going to bother your for a tour, but I didn’t have your cell phone in my new cellphone/addressbook. I’ll have to make a trip again, prolly, cuz i didn’t get to look at the english department buildings (we only saw the music section- and lazed around collegetown for TWO hours because somehow I didn’t have anybody’s phone number but shanshan-girl at my church- and she was studying for a final)Next time then~