I know I should’nt be online… but…
I think I need to make a point on my XANGA. I AM STUDYING ORGO! Listen to the song in the background, and enjoy~
I think I’ve had an epiphany today/recently. I’m going to have to make a confession here. For a long time, I’ve believed in ability over effort. That if you were “smart” or “better”, that you don’t need to try. In other words, I was an idiot, to believe that “not trying” was something to be proud of. That if I could do something without putting in the effort, that it actually meant something, or was something worth bragging about.
That attitude of mine needs to end. This falsely smug superior attitude needs to go, which truly is false, because I’ve realized (not for the first time, but for the first time in a while) that there is absolutely no shame in having tried and worked hard. It is SO much better to have worked, and put in the effort, and WON than to have received. There’s quote from a great Korean movie: “Don’t tell your kids that they’re smart–they’ll never study”. Well, I happened to be one of those fools that thought I was smart. And somehow, when I didn’t work, and I got mediocre grades, I thought to myself, ‘Yeah, but when I DID try, I did well’, and took comfort in that if I need to, I can pull myself up.
Orgo exam is in 24 hours. I’m barely 50% ready (as in I’ll get a 50% if i take it now). It might be too late now (Ive wasted enough time writing entries like this) For once, I am going to try, and try, and WORK MY ASS OFF…
And when I get what I deserve (whatever that may be), I won’t say anything else.