Day 7305 of Alexander Skyrien Joo’s Life
So as endings go, this one was rather understated: the end of my teenage years! And what a way to end it (see entry below)! But for now, it’s happy birthday to myself and yes, here’s to a new year of ever increasing greatness! But it’s goodbye to perhaps the most turbulent, and change-filled era of my life (not that I expect turbulence and change to stop… at all). Not that there have been too many eras yet, but no longer being in the “Teen” group… that’s something big. But… one dimension at a time .
In so many ways, this is just another day. But that’s like saying a milestone is just a stone. What it represents is so much more; simply looking back at the last milestone on 2004 tells a story a life-world away. On 5.23.2004, for our generation, high school had yet to end, the fervor of Prom 2004 lingered, and I was more excited for the unknown future than ever before and rightfully so—the year to come was to be the best ever by far. For me, it was my first HAPPY birthday in… in as long as I could remember. Things are slightly different now, but more of the current circumstances than of the year before or the one that started today, but I have every cause and reason to hold on to optimism and hope for the near and further future. I’ve changed and grown so much in the past year—Squishy surprised me by her own second first impression of me. At first I thought that maybe I’ve become better at hiding, but on second thought… I think I’ve grown more than I realized. Looking back at that moment, and then a little further, I even surprise myself. I’ve learned a lot of things through the past year—but most importantly, I think I’ve finally learned to live a little.
I’ve also learned the power of words, and how far a little faith can go in conquering our imperfections. Observational understanding and judgments can only go so far in telling truths, sometimes you have to look within and have a little faith to push a little further out there. (I’m resisting the urge to make another physics analogy about laws applying to things we have no way of knowing for sure— but as long as we believe in our absolutes, can’t they be real? The modes of science have so much to teach ) I’ve also learned that it isn’t fair to have expectations for things I have no [official] claim over, but still… I believe I’ve been blessed more than I might deserve… and that alone is a testament of faith.
I (still) believe in causes greater than myself, that we are more than the sum of our experiences, and that we have much more to give than we can ever lose. I think it’s about time that I started living by my ideals, for the sake of living by them—not to receive anything more, but because so long that we all believe in ideals, there is nothing to worry about. So for this year, and ever onward, I must try to give more than I receive, extend enough faith to those that deserve it (everyone), and to truly live by the beliefs I hold.
I’ve gone through the entire cycle of my emotion spectrum over the past 24 hours, but reflecting over the past decade is something else entirely. Too much really, but I don’t think I have to. And perhaps that is the price of living: not knowing how much I’ve truly lived—but that’s okay. Besides, I’m not living for myself, and those I am living for have records in eternity. Here’s a quote:
“What you do for yourself dies with you, what you do for others lives forever.”
Ah whatever, this is a special moment… and I note that. Thanks to everyone that wished this day of mine to be happy, meaningful, and beautiful ! Now, stop reading this, and go out and live!
All the time!