So college is finally beginning to drive me insane. Not because of the deathly same daily dorm food. Not because of the masses of midterms and projects and papers which have been piled upon me over the past week-point-five. And shockingly, not because of the fact that I spent the past 10 hours doing homework due later today, with the help of two cups of imitation Starbucks coffee and coffee ice cream and freezing temperatures provided by an open window and flannel Heartland pants while singing “Java java java… java… sucks!!!” .

Nope.

I’m being driven insane because I am stuck in a time warp, unable to move or change the world out there in other places like my own. Because my encapsulated bubble is Plexiglas and I am forced to watch other bubbles float away, mingle amongst each other and possibly even merge to form multiplexes… while I am still stuck here.

Because even as I wait for opportunity with as much respect and patience as a teenager can have, other factors are as selfish as I am and love to claim keepsies to my role and station.

Yes, the love of God is forever.

Yes, life is long and bitterness runs long but far in between.

But guess what? Mammon and Phthonos lurk far closer to my all too human worlds.

Perhaps I am doomed to watch forever. But who cares? It’s 7:25 AM… maybe I’ll get an hour of sleep tonight. Today. Whatever…

I miss life.

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