(Entry dedicated to KT)

Good luck reading this (btw its actually 20 not 22):

So that’s that. Writing on paper is so much slower for me now, I feel as if my thoughts are being held back by my own inability. I think too fast to type anyway, slowing em down even more just makes the bottleneck worse. Plus while writing cursive, I’m focused on just getting the handwriting good that it detracts from the creative process. Just a thoguht. I mean, I can type in my SLEEP, (December 15th, 2003 Xanga entry), but I can barely write in cursive while awake. Nevertheless, penmanship has suddenly become a priority, and after nineteen years of writing chickenscratch, I think it’s time for a change. Hopefully, by the end of this year, I’ll be able to write in my sleep~

Till then–

[EDIT] — lol–adding to my Xanga because it’s 2:48, and I feel like writing some more. YOu know, I really complained and dissed my freshman year a lot–about how I didn’t do anything. But now that school’s over, my entire set of values seem to have shifted quite a bit. I actually did do a lot of stuff, and I really miss all that I used to do that year–around that time, I started making websites (inter-reality.com was born), learned to use photoshop, html & frontpage, and 3ds max for making CG movies, took computer graphics, web design, digital photo, writing, and acting classes, wrote 200 pages of the New World story, made a huge picture a month relating to the New World story, drew pictures of dragons for no reason other than to dream of flying as one… I was such a dreamer, creativity billowing into every little thing I used to do. A bit depressed the whole time yes, but nothing could be better to get me to find ways to entertain myself. It was also the time when my dad was very very ill… but that’s another story. Depression and lonelyness are necessary for personal development–and I thank God for all the traversities (my own created word) that came my way that year.

Looking at Victoria’s (i dunno her last name yet) site , I’m reminded of all the passions I had at that younger age. Seriously, what happened to all that precocious professionalism burgondging at 15? I guess I found more… normal ways to spend my time. Friends and “fun”… the things I used to write about and dream about, I began to do… and as I did so, the dreams became less enchanting, and the value of actually “living” went up exponentially.

But now that school is out… and the time is coming when my passions become who I am, all the things I set aside earlier, all by old dreams are becoming to feel more like… chains, dragging behind me–because I’d hate to give up anything–yet there’s no way I can do them all. Or can I?

I remember when I was in 7th grade, how I gave up learning computer programming because I had friends who started in 4th grade. I thought I had fallen so far behind, that I needed to find something else. Yet it’s only recently that I realized how naive I had been, and now, I wonder, is it too late yet? Can I resume my childhood penchants with the same vigor I had 4 years ago? Sitting around and wondering certainly isn’t going to get anything done–and I think I’m finally beginning to feel the limits of time creeping up on me. This summer, I have so much that I want to do, before it’s too late… SO I WILL DO IT! I already made a list of group goals, this time, it’s time for personal ones.

::XANDER’s PERSONAL SUMMER GOALS::

1. Rebuild my webpage–this time, with MODERN web components.

2. Read all the books on my list. Two hours a day should be enough.

3. Get 1 work of art done per month. So that’s 3…

4. Write the New World again

5. Learn to play Fur Elise on the piano!

6. Create a Fellowship Connection Site

7. Write letters to EVERYONE.

8. AND GIVE OUT THE SKYRIEN AWARDS!!!

9. Read the Bible, completely… mleh–gl to myself with that one…

10. Read a French book!

11. Continue the NIL story. I was somewhat inspired by Joe Nasti’s writing of a story with real people, and a bit ago, I started writing my own story, a section at at time. I’ve been writing in my AIM profile for a week or so now. This story involves us as the main characters–and begins sometime in early-April of this year. Except… it’s sci-fi/fantasy… as in… weird things start happening… the action begins when suddenly, everyone passes out in 3rd period, and wakes up to find… *poof*  6 billion people… gone. (the world population is about 6.2 billion now)

12. Inspire someone.

Yeah, I guess that’ll do. 20 Days have already passed, a LOT are still left, and I SHALL NOT DISAPPOINT MYSELF, EVER AGIN! *sigh… maybe I am really aging… I get excited thinking about all the things I could do, but when I get to work, I get tired… lose patience… please, give me the patience to be what I know can be. Merci~

So I’ve finally concluded that Xanga isn’t my private domain anymore—and I can’t quite say everything I wanna say all the time. No matter—that’s what written journals are for right? It’s still sitting at the head of my bed where I put it nearly 8 months ago. I haven’t written anything in it since I’ve become physically attached to my computer and technology… but it was nice writing in it again—surprisingly, my handwriting from 6 years ago is nearly the same as it is now… but my cursive has gotten much worse… but the thing is…

person.

Yeah, it’s sad to see the decline of good penmanship. There are a few people out there with handwriting along look like art… it speaks, like the words themselves speak–the handwriting is the voice of a writer… or at least the *quality* of voice. Of course, what’s written is what really matters. Still, it’s nice to see handwriting that’s so elegantly distinctive that it gives the reader something to admire.

But anyway, I digress. The whole point of this entry was to give some substance to an Image Station Album of our Chicago outting yesterday. Not too eventful, just a lot of wandering and walking around. Corner Bakery was amazing though–their olive bread tuna salad… not since MUN have I had such a good tuna sandwich. Jon as usual took twice as long as anyone else to eat. He did explore into his psyche to figure out why he ate so slow. His conclusion: he forgets to swallow.

[MORE PICTURES] http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=4286472099

The beach was out next stop, which is where Vicki departed. But somehow she got lost within the train station, and missed her train… which caused havoc on her plans… thankfully though, she was rescued prompty (I think…). Kaidi’s park came next, where Jason lost his glasses and I lost my backpack (but didn’t realize it until 10 minutes after we left). Again, thankfully they were still there.

Which reminds me… we got harrassed by peddlers all along our journey–there was this one dude though, that actually gave a SPEECH, and actually had contentions for why we should give him money. I have him a buck for actually trying. Anyway, after Kaidi’s park, we decided to get some bubble tea in Chinatown. Kaidi suggested we take the train. I balked at the idea… and then, suddenly, started running–for no reason really, other than to just run. We were actually headed for the El’ station but then… when I got to Michigan Ave, I started thinking… what if we just ran the whole way?

I gazed down Michigan. It had once been my own street, in Evanston, but now… nvm anyway–yea jokingly I said we should just run the whole way AND beat the other fools to it. To encourage this idea–I said I knew the entire way–not completely true, I was fairly familiar with these streets but I only knew the direction (south). Pretty soon, I found myself in an epic run across from Downtown to Chinatown. J-dawg talked at our foolishness (of course, only to defend his inability to accomplish such a herculean task).

Jason “Wrestler” Lee, Jon “X-country” Li sans shoes, and I were the three that decided to take the challenge. With fat Jon’s words echoing in our minds (“it’ll take you guys an hour and a half!) we ran on. It was like old times… except I was wearing thick khaki pants, and had a backpack, but still, we started running, and kept running.

At first, it was all a big race. Riddick’s words, “There’s only one speed… MY speed”, and the Pirate’s Code “Those who fall behind, get left behind” dominated the mood of the run. It was actually pretty fun for the first.. half mile or so. At Jefferson, I asked some cops how far it was to 22nd (Cermak). Eighteen blocks they said. We had already come a quarter of the way, and hearing this I actually had hope… we just might make it. But by the time we got t 8th street, it became clear that Jon was having a hard time keeping up, and a change in attitude ensued. I realized that we probably wouldn’t make it there before the train goers, and that as Jon is always keen to say, “it’s not the destination but the journey” that matters. Here, it couldn’t have been more true–this was good Fellowship bonding time. Ironic that it was Jon that fell behind. Seeing this… I told Jason, (with far exaggerated grandeur) to go on, and never look back. I turned back and ran to Jon, spoke that he would not be looked down on at all if he chose to take the train from there. I gave him an annoying box of coins I found rattling in my backpack, and said that we would all make it–one way or another… lol (its fun talking hero), then I turned back and started running again. I caught up to Jason at 11th street. After that it was run three walk one… run three… walk one… cont’d… and we kept going.

There was one point where I felt I’d die without water. And right then, when I needed it most, just past the Art Institute there was a water fountain… I took it as a sign. The street names were kind of annoying though. They messed up the 3/1/3 run pace. There would be huge stretches between some streets… like after 11th–we were supposed to run three more till 14th–except after thirteen, fourteen never came… and we just kept running. I kept saying ‘just a lil’ further…’ like at the old x-crountry meets. And then out of nowhere it was Sixteenth street. Or something like that. It happened a few times, but it made the run seem much faster. And we still ran. By the time we reached Cermak, I was really tired–but impressed by my own stamina as well as Jason’s. Somewhere in my mind, I wondered if Jon was actually ahead of us now, or if he was still running at his own pace. The rest of mon corps etait trops fatigue de penser.

Chinatown… I never felt more elated to see it. I wish I had a watch… my guess was that it took little more than 30 minutes to run the three miles from the Navy Pier area to Chinatown, and for the first time, the city didn’t feel like isolated bubbles of neighborhoods, but a single city, its parts connected together by the very roads we ran through that day. With that thought in mind, we went through the arch. One good thing about looking red in the face (as if drunk) is that the peddlers are less likely to come after your money. It was nice to not be bothered, but we found out that Joy Yee’s was across town, so we ran back, suddenly desperate to get there before the other ppl did. That was shocking, not only did we get to Chinatown, we might actually beat the others to it. Nick called somewhere around that point, sounding rather bored. Then… we heard shouting… and like victory trumpets hailing our arrival and solidifying our victory, I saw KT, KD, and Jon yelling/waving from the train track. Haha–I smelled victory!

And bubble tea never tasted better. Strawberry Tapioca Fresh Fruit Jelly Freeze at Joy Yee’s is now MY FAVORITE. Anubhav called to say that he was arriving promptly–the fool actually arrived at Cermak and Clark, but took wrong turn onto the highway. Children like him shouldn’t be driving around here. And then when he finally got back, he claimed he was too scared to go through the Chinatown arch on Wentworth because “the gangs were there”. lol–but he enjoyed his bubble tea when he did arrive. When we all met up at Tea Leaf again, the others were in disbelief–that we actually ran the whole way. Even Jon, who came with us a quarter of the way insisted that we must have taken the train. Interestingly, and annoyingly, Jason actually found it pleasurable to know that we had accomplished the unbelievable and tried to make it seem even less possible. lol–whatever–

Enough writing, im done… oh, we looked for swords… but–found none at the right price~70 dollars for a flimsy sword with a wobbly handle? Only a tourist would pay that much… and that was that for that day that won that victory.

J’aime le photo!

Jalapeno fun!

haha–David et Janice pleurent apres ils ont mange les jalapenos–ils sont tres fables non? What weaklings… That’s what happens when you’re dead last among seven teams.

Tauri… with shaving cream, paint, and lots of TP

Une autre angle…

Il y a plus, mais je suis trop fatigue…

Xanga xanga, who a m I?

Wow, it feels so foreign already–writing Xanga entries that is. Has it really been that long? I guess it has. I wonder why… it’s not like I haven’t been thinking…nor is it that I havnen’t been doing much. Life has been quite good.

Oh wow, I don’t even remember how to address entries anymore–an opportunity for change?

So. Summer appear’s to be going into its first major lull. The last two weeks was filled with so many parties–and my own party ( ) which was cool. I forgot how awesome it is to host parties–I know people that do it all the time find it a pain, but for moi, who hasn’t hosted a party in years, definitely awesome. Besides, you get a chance to bring ppl to your own house for a change, and I daresay that my house has seen enough new faces lately. I still have to write thank you cards… and then… Skyrien Awards! (Oops–I wasn’t supposed to say that… darn darn darn… what have I done?)

But yes, summer lulls have started creeping into life, and here I am desperately trying to fight it away and keep productivity at a max. Relaxation is overrated anyway. So is sleep. God… I’ve slept far too much lately. Had some amazing dreams, but since I never seem to be able to remember them, why bother?

So, I’m (we’re) making a list of things to do over summer. Besides building connections with Northwestern, U of C, and Wash U faculty (dear reader, if you don’t know yet, a few of my friends and I have been brutally cast out from each of these supposedly awesome universities, thus am now waging an uphill battle for transfer), I’ve got a lot of reading, writing, and working to do.

I very much want a job. The fact that I’m not allowed to have one is just pure torture. Yes, Anu, Dev, Kai, and I went to check out the new Target store… a treasure trove for new applicants. The applications were pretty funny–how the Company and the Corporation was capitalized everywhere–reminded me of those sci-fi movies where corporations own the world. Anyway–it’s like having treasure right in front of moi, and legally barred from reaching it. The government sucks…

So, I am forced to find other channels of activity. For within the Fellowship, one small idea I had was to have Points–kinda something I started with my brothers. Everyone starts with a set amount of points, and anything competitive can result in a loss/gain of points, and the winner at the end… I dunno, get’s a prize? Or even just for kicks, points would be fun. We’re having fun with it at home, competing from everything from Scholastic Bowl questions to ping pong games. And for us summer lull folk, it further enhances this Awesome List of things to do. Not just any list… this is a list for everyone, group activities for the young, old, bored, pre-amused…. every person afflicted with the summer lulls, can benefit. And it goes as follows: