Author: skyrien

what’s the craziest thing i could say so that you would know who i am…

by skyrien

Ah, so it would seem that certain people still in China are still reading my LJ, and complaining about its repetitive content. Well, I suppose, as life can often seem repetitive. But when you’re a couple hundred (or a couple thousand) miles away, it’s hard to tell that it really isn’t.

Then again, to write about moving forward would be repetitve too–given that I’ve already written about it once. SO, I suppose I’ll settle for writing about how damn glad I am that summer school is over. Now, as most people are complaining about the winding down of summer, I feel like it’s just beginning. Well, actually, I feel like it’s never started, and that we’re going straight back into school.

“Where has my summer gone?” I could be asking. I could be complaining about not having enough time (we never do) or about wanting more than the 10 days left for me here (always wanting just a little more). I could be thinking about the things I can’t change, the things that’ll
remind me that this is just a moment, like everything else in life, and that no matter how much I try to enjoy it, it’ll be over, and maybe that means there’s no point.

Yeah, like hell I am. My most recent conclusion is that I don’t think too much; I just don’t always think about the right way. My summer has been everything that a summer should be, I’ve been productive (8 more credit hours!), relaxing (a month and a half of *no* summer school is plenty of time), significant (I have (and am) a penguin now!), fun (yes most deff.), and with the outcome as it is, unregretable. There’s always things to be complaining about. I dwell on them all too much, and given the life I have, I have no right to be complaining about it. So I won’t.

Exciting isn’t it? When you’re alive and you know it; when you know things will end, and it only makes you want to enjoy it more. Life is good, guys. I’m happy.

~*~

I’ve made the recent discovery that being taken has its costs. And no, I’m not talking about opportunity cost (which isn’t nearly worth as
much, I think). I’m talking about $$$

(all values are estimates, and may not be valid in a court of law)

Direct costs(events, things):
$396
Indirect costs (transportation, fuel, food, etc… that are components of other committments): $415

Not to mention the countless hundreds of hours invested in communication, thought, and physical presence.

Now, add this to the $$$ spent on summer school, and over the summer I’ve spent nearly $4,000 of money that I am now so desperate to earn. Yes, I definitely need a job… ah… but the experience, is mastercard. I’m defining the moments of my life as I go…

~*~

<CONSOL>
Okay. Restart! I just a wrote a fairly long Xanga entry, before having it rejected in favor of this new entry that has yet to be written. Ah… it’s been a while since I metacognated here hasn’t it?

I guess it’ll have to be a bit longer; I think I am a little too tired to write anything coherently that I expect people to read…

(to be appended later)

</CONSOL>

People are…

by skyrien

“Beautiful,” says the idealist.   “We are beautiful because we are capable of love, of hope; of bringing salvation to the lost and confused.   We are beautiful because we are different from one another; we are beautiful because each of us is a unique flower in the garden of life, bringing color, complementing one another, and together accomplishing a resonating appreciation for that miracle which we know to be man   None of us are perfect but it is in the flaws and follies of others that we find comfort for our own, for it is our imperfections which are colorful, our imperfections which are beautiful.   And since we are but our imperfections, therefore we are beautiful.”

 

“Replaceable,” says the cynic.   “Who are you, really?   You think yourself a unique snowflake, no two the same, but though we may never be entirely the same, the characteristics of our personalities which we cherish to be our assets – our strengths, our talents, our emotions we dare label compassion – can always be found in someone else.   In the end, life is too short and humans too selfish to love anyone other than themselves.   In the end, you are as special as you are useful in satiating the hedonistic nature of that depravity we know to be man.   Disappear from this world, I dare you, and you will watch as the hole you leave is slowly filled by others no less special than yourself; you will watch as your presence fades and your legacy erodes.   And then how special and unique are you?”

 

“Disappointing,” says the pessimist.   “They are disappointing because they are unreliable and undependable, because the only person in this world who cares purely about what you want and what you need is yourself.   They are disappointing because they live with the attitude that each man lives for himself – survival of the fittest – and disappointing because this is the only way progress is made.   They break your hearts and they weaken your morale, and the few moments in which you feel the human race has an iota of hope only sets you up for the overwhelming blow when you come to the unfallible realization that to be selfish is to be strong and that when you do fall – which you will, being human – the only person there that will catch you is yourself.”

 

“People”, says the realist.   “Why waste time labeling what they are when you can find out for yourself?”

Becoming normal

by skyrien

I have discovered, with aid of the internet that I…

*Am a realist
*Am a noncombatant in the game of love
*Have a healthy mix of trust and skepticism
*Am otherwise… becoming what I’d call normal…

So weird isn’t it? Two years ago, I’d have been raving in mock outrage at the idea of becoming normal, yet somehow it doesn’t seem so bad. All a part of growing up I tell ya.

Now question at hand: is this a good thing?