<PREPEND>
15:58

i know i’m going to regret this, i knwo im going to regret this… i know i am i know i am, I KNOW I AM. I’ve received enough warnings from within, old friends, and new friends alike. From experience, and the occasional fear from time to time. Danger here, danger there–it is as clear and evident as the night…

</PREPEND>

So, this is what it’s like to not regret what you’ve lost, but to feel the sadness of what you’re losing. Is everything we feel in life just change? Maybe it is… maybe not. I’d rather not believe so, but maybe that’s why I strive the ideals, because we may never reach them, but there’s only one way to work for (which would be… up).

But old habits are hard to kill…

I undoubtedly have the tendency of having the words and hopes of an optimist, and the actions of a severe pessimist. Always preparing for the worst, and holding thoughts and taking actions expecting such unless life can prove otherwise. This is a problem in my ever changing world, but sometimes, against great odds, it does manage to prove me wrong. But can it continue to do so? Or will I end up making my reality its own dark self-fulfilling prophesy? It’s something I wonder and fear at the same time… but if I really do have that power, I know I can make it better too…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I came home after three days, and found this abomination in my garage:

 — I admit, it’s not a bad car… just… so random!

<APPEND>
15:13

Haha… or maybe, I just need to Breathe~

And everything’s gonna be all right…

I’ve heard, felt enough to believe that too. So in the end, nothing is determined, my impatience continues to roil, and the ultimate truth is elusive.

</APPEND>

<APPEND2>
16:04

Because I’m an idiot okay???
::stomps off as if it explains everything that ever needed explaining::

</APPEND2>