Month: December 2005

This is the last time.

by skyrien

I should be studying for organic chemstry. Need to be. But I need to take a little bit of time to… for the last time, get it all out of my mind. I’m in the odd kind of mood where I’m on the verge of being perfectly happy, and content to have orgo the most dominating thing on my mind. But it’s not. And it’s funny how I can be sitting here, smiling and perfectly content (as I was most of last year) and then, without warning, feel a terrible breaking within. I get upset. I get angry. But worst of all… out of nowhere, I’ll need to stop for a moment, like and just write, even if it’s all been said/written before.

It’s so terrifying, what it takes to learn some lessons. Sometimes, I just can’t deal with it.

Except to write. And to study orgo.

I know I’ll be fine. I just wish I was.

And I don’t understand
The things I do
But I’ll probably be fine
As long as I keep moving
I’ll try to write it down
So things just keep improving

This is the last entry I write unil my final. Orgo is trying to kill me. I won’t lose this time~

Like a ship without an anchor

by skyrien

I think I’ve been a little ungrounded lately. Like I’ve lost my anchor, so easily moved emotionally. And you know what I’ve realized? I can find good in almost any situation, learn important lessons through my struggles… and when I can’t, I can still find serenity… but I had never felt that such “maturity” could be so tragic until now.

Something is amiss, and I can’t seem to find a way to find both happiness and comfort. Like a ship on a voyage, no anchor needed.

December

by skyrien

I’m sitting in my room, listening to an awesomely beautiful song . It’s December now. It’s cold and dark out… and things seem gray again. Two years ago , gray was what my world was, knowing that even as I was stuck in my bubble, life were out there–whatever “life” was. Two years later here I am, after taking a short trip through both extremes, back in gray. It’s a different shade of gray though… or maybe it’s just a different me.

I AM a different me now… but still the same.

I’ve come to accept that we can’t always keep things close, no matter how hard you may try; that when it’s time to move on, you do inevitably move on. I’d like to live a proactive life, but I’ve learned to value “going with the flow”. I also believe, however, with people anyway, and perhaps all of life, the things that stick around, without having to tie them down to KEEP them around are the ones you’ll be close to as you’re meant to be. And that’s a nice comfort.

Oh but not all so bittersweet… I’ve learned another thing over the two years: that your life is what you make of it. And that MAKING isn’t always easy, but it’s always, ALWAYS worth the effort. Besides, you learn life’s lessons along the way, through the victories, and sometimes more, especially in our young age, the defeats. Anyway, that is all.

I just took a killer orgo exam. And a TAM exam. Life blows, but I love it anyway. Here’s a shoutout to my dear sQ! Stay strong! Destiny awaits! TAKE IT!

LoL. Okay, I’m going to bed.

~*~

I didn’t really explicate on these lyrics when I posted them; was occupied trying NOT to die from orgo and TAM.

strange how certain the journey
time unfolds the petals for our eyes to see
strange how this journey’s hurting
in ways we accept as part of fate’s decree

so we just hold on fast
acknowledge the past
as lessons exquisitely crafted
painstakingly drafted
to carve us as instruments
that play the music of life
– Eric’s Song, Vienna Teng

~*~

Journalist? wtf?

Extroverted ( E ) 70% Introverted (I) 30%
Intuitive ( N ) 65.79% Sensing (S) 34.21%
Feeling ( F ) 55.26% Thinking (T) 44.74%
Perceiving ( P ) 58.14% Judging (J) 41.86%

ENFP –  “Journalist”. Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population.