Yay! So it’s finally here, the last year of teenage life.

Ooh, I got a really odd feeling, while Tiff and I were counting down the last few seconds of 18ness. I was afraid that it would be like any other birthday you know like ‘meh I feel the same’. But this time it was different. The first second of my new year, there was a jolt, almost electric, that surged through my mind/heart, and throughout. It was like a surge of energy, which is very weird, since the last few years, it’s felt more like a draining sensation.

But this time, I felt a huge urge to jump around shout and dance! Of course that urge went unsatisfied (too tired from walking in the thunderstorm for 5 hours), but the feeling is there even now. I feel more energetic, more alive and filled with vitality than I ever have for any birthday since 12. What does this mean?

And also! for the first time since I turned twelve (in the amazing year of 1997) I’m actually happy for my birthday! This is an amazing feeling. I’ve grown so much in the last seven years grown from silly little insane kid, to traumatized Korean junior high kid, to lost underclassman kid, and now, as a senior, I’ve finally come to accept all that I am, and all that I have been; this year, I face the future, end of high school, beginning of college, the end of teenageness, and the new challenges that will inevitably be in all of these, with a hope that I was afraid I lost years ago. I am alive now, I am ready to take on the world once more. In the words of Kirsten Dunst (and not Bush), “Bring it on!”

What am I going to write to myself? I have no idea. For those who don’t know, I have a tradition of writing my future self a letter on every birthday; just a period of extra-self reflection. The last one was filled with fear, depression, anxiety, a tinge of hope and a lot of dread for the coming end of high school. But now, I have none of those well, actually I have all of those, but optimism rules! In this new light of seeing things, what can I say?

(letter removed )

So yep, yet another chapter has closed in my still already long long LONG book of life. What awaits me now? I do not know but I shall never lose my hope. Thank you everyone that has sustained me throughout the year, your guidance has kept me on track, and made me who I am now.

Many thanks!

Haha–and thanks to all the wonderful people that called on this new day–

Do I feel any different? Haha–just ask me how old I am, and watch me give pause.

Relay for Life @ Hubble Middle School

Relay for Life = walking in the rain for 5 hours!  I’d love the rain, if only if it wasn’t so cold! See, quite unlike Dev, I am quite human, and I perceive coldness as a threat. But it was fun~ .

Oh and Hubble IS a sad place; they’ve got a gym with 60 year old homemade bleachers, and a track that’s growing grass! Seriously, the rubber layer is so patchy that grass is growing out of it.

Check out this prison (complete with a guard box by the metal cage doors)

The Hope Bags with names with the lights on…

And then… in darkness!

And the track–with Woodstock style tents, music, and decent lights.

Since it was birthday eve, I counted down the hours till midnight–it’s actually kinda fun (especially when there’s nothign to do except walk walk and walk!) It was the first time since I turned 14 that that I was actually with someone during the crossover… the last hours of 18 and the first hours of 19, it was very comforting. I’ll definitely do the same next year!

I stayed till about 2 AM, Tiff abandoned her post (like everyone else). Then it was time to go home… 1 year older.

So the hellish two weeks have finally passed, and now to transition back into normal life again. Monday was by FAR the worst day in recent memory. NO ONE should be forced to endure such torment. Not only was it 9 hours (including a 30 minute break), but it was 9 hours in a HOT, humid, brain killing environment. By the 7 ^th hour my hands, back, and neck were physically hurting and I won’t even say how I felt by 8 and 9. And then it was off to Jason’s house to prepare for yet another test. But now it’s finally over!

Score rough estimates (UPDATED: 1/4/2015 With Actual info):

US History: 4

Literature: 4

BC Calc: 5

Physics C: 5

Psychology: 5

Biology: 5

Literature (no idea…but my guess is…) 3-4

BC Calc: 4

Biology: 4-5

Physics: (wow… no idea) 3-ish?

Psychology: I think either a 4-5.

Mmmhmm yeah, I need a cool down period. A little relaxing would be nice. At least… before Friday. Eeh… I keep missing CCMC–I’m such an compartmentalized self–next time I say.

---

A fateful day: April 21 ^st , 2004

How it went (at least from Rohit’s point of view):

http://www.frootiness.netfirms.com/28.htm

lol–thanks rohit for your hilarious interpretation, though you could improve a little at counting cars

If I haven’t got around to thanking those involved (in spite of the plan falling apart at record speed), I’ll do it now ”THANK YOU! Obviously we could have put more practice into the act maybe even made it the BEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD (!!) but even now, the hilarious moments are the ones I remember most: i.e Rohit lying on the ground looking around helplessly for instructions; Jason flicking the sword way too fast (snapping it in 4 places at once, then standing cluelessly); Huang spasmodically rolling/sitting with his butt on the ground as if he was watching the most laughable show of his life, the cop dude (who looks uncannily like Mr. Scott) coming out with the dean and of course the most important moment behind the main stage but only because I forgot to take out the flower and the white orchids, which, as Kaidi suggests, can be colored blue via marker!

There were some difficulties getting those onboard (for example:

Anu: No kidnapping!! (protecting his vitals) What if josie kicks my ass?!

In any case, I won’t even try to explain the intended symbolism of the tennis racket-swordsmanship, or the non-existent Kill Bill references. Yep—well I would like to acknowledge all involved in the pre-planning (Tiff, Joanna, Kaidi), planning (JLee, Anu, JLi), and all the people that actually came (Rohit, Huangs, and esp. XL and Sully for the quick resourcefulness!). Oh yes, and finally thanks to the ever-wonderful JC herself!

Wind…! Guide me!
-Talim- (She is amazing!)

But mwahaha, I’m Mitsurugi! Samurai warrior and all around good guy/badass. I command my world. Soul Calibur is by far my most favorite PS2 game.

You are Mitsurugi – Both mysterious and attractive, you captivate people with the fact that you seem to be good at everything! Spending quiet moments with a friend and talking about what life means to you is your ideal situation. You don’t like to stand out very much and you seem to be more old-fashioned than modern, but when you do take the spotlight — you command the floor!
Which Soul Calibur character are you?
this quiz was made by david park

Three more AP tests! AP Biology, AP Physics C (!) I need a 5 for UIUC?! And AP Psychology. Prep level: Bio: eh… 5 should be possible. Physics… life/death situation–so i MUST get a 5. Psychology–I have no idea~

More Fury over Iraq:

 

Looks like the hidden effects are finally showing through:

From: What Happened to Bush’s Dream Team?

…They engaged all week in thinly veiled finger pointing over the abuse of Iraqi prisoners, and, in a rare move, the White House let it be known that the President had privately rebuked his Defense Secretary for not advising him of the extent of the problem. A senior Administration official said the relationship between the White House and the Pentagon was “in flames.” The President, says a Bush adviser, “is legitimately pissed.”…

http://www.time.com/time/covers/1101040517/wmemo.html

 

Besides that… I actually did a survey/quiz for once–of all surveys, this one seems the cooelst, and least obvious that it’s just trying to get answers to questions not normally asked. Besides, its one of the few FUN surveys there:

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 5. Write down what it says: Her crew was starting to reassemble, now that the bullies had passed. (Ender’s Shadow, Orson Scott Card) < ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office” />

2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
A list of the Greek Alphabet (for easy remembrance) in Symbol font.

3: What is the last thing you watched on TV? Intentionally and committedly?
Wow? can?t remember

4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is:
I say? 12:30 AM

5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
Oh wow? 1:32 AM? so much for 8 hours of sleep.
6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
A very high pitched whining noise? and an extremely low rumble. These are actually scientifically verified to be sounds from your body?if you were in a completely soundproof room, you?d hear the same sounds. The low sound is from your circulatory system, and the extremely high sound is from the neurons firing in your head. Fascinating eh?

7: When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Setting up the ping pong table in the garage?I think I might have stepped outside when I accidentally hit a ping pong ball out the door. Sad, I know.

8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
Susie?s Xanga, who had stolen it from Grace’s Xanga.

9: What are you wearing?
lol? not very much actually. I?m in the privacy of my own room, door closed, and its very warm. But, if one must know? I?m wearing the annoying boxer-briefs (which suck) that I?ve been complaining about, and the awesome Environmental Club T-shirt.

1 0: Did you dream last night?
I did actually? I tried remembering it in the morning but forgot before I even got out of bed. It was a cool dream though?

1 1: When did you last laugh?
Actually, I didn?t laugh when I typed in ?lol? for #9. Haha (didn?t laugh there either) I remember a while ago, when I re-remembered what ?lol? stood for, I?d actually force a laugh just so that I?d be using the acronym accurately. Then it got boring. So the last time I laughed? I was reading Jeff Shih?s Xanga? and mentally comparing him with Jon.

12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Many MANY things? let?s see? annoyingly peachish/whitish paint, a school calendar 2003-2004, an ?I Love Technology poster from HP?, Star Trek 2003 Poster, a Cokesbury 2003 calendar, a Fermilab Poster a Poster of a Dragon blowing fire, A Wacked up poster of a Cathedral of The Universe, a Mandela I made in Digiart, a watercolor painting of dinosaurs I made in Drawing I, a map of the Chicago area, 2 Warcraft III posters, 4 Warcraft III lithographs, 4 scrapings from a 2002 Goddesses calendar, a Sea World Poster (that I made on my own!), Kennedy Space Center banner, 8 ^th grade Washington DC Trip panoramic photo, 2 more works from Digiart II, my baggie from Spring Camp (still open to notes!), the aforementioned Greek Alphabet, another drawing from Drawing I, guitar TABs for Fur Elise, a to-do list from a month ago, and an Eminem poster, a sprawling radio antenna that I taped up in an effort to get 106.7 ?The Fish? FM (every other station works w/o taping the antenna up on the wall. Funny how it looks kinda like a cross?)

13: Seen anything weird lately?
Yeah, I was called Kill Bill Vol 1. Weird can good.

14: What do you think of this quiz?
This is the ONE survey that I finally decided to do. I usually don?t do them because I don?t like the idea of being motivated to tell something just cuz its on a survey (too many of these resemble truth/dare questions to have innocuous intent), but this one is different. It is COOL! And actually fun to do. Funny how many things go unnoticed.

15: What is the last film you saw?
“The < ?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” /> School of Rock ,” an AMAZING movie. I have this thing for movies about kids?especially ones that inspire. Too many movies portray kids as being sub-adults, having flat personalities, and just having the word ?kid? be a defining term. My creative writing teacher pissed me off by saying that kids won?t be able to understand my childrens’ story?I was insulted to hear her low opinion of children intelligence.

16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha, Venti, before deciding how to upgrade Tauri?s ailing body/heart.

17: Tell me something about you that I don’t know
In spite of evidence leading to the contrary, I actually like to sleep. I just wish we didn?t have to.

18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
The elimination of money as a cause for living. We shouldn?t live to make money? if anything, we should be making money to live more fully.

19: Do you like to dance?
Swing dance? Yes. Am I good at it? Not quite. Do I care? Do I look like I care when I?m on the dance floor, Helen in hand (?cause she?s excellent at swing), big band quiet for a sec, Jeff playing solo (?cause he?s amazing too), lights dimmed, and trying to do some new trick while the ppl attempt to do the same?

20: George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or some one who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
I don?t like Bush. I?m sure he means well, and I actually DO believe he?s doing a lot of good. But, for one, I don?t think he?s conscious enough to actually know what he?s doing. And now? I dunno. Maybe he?ll pay or his unawareness. Poor old man. I?m actually beginning to like Kerry now, though I think he?s a bit too political.

21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Elizabeth (I?ve loved that name for a long time), Alexandra , Victoria , or something that my wonderful significant other and I coin together.

21: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Considering how I named myself with my (still) favorite name, this becomes more diffifult? Elijah, or something that my wonderful significant other and I coin together.

23: Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes I’d do it. But only temporarily, until I?m ready to rule my world again. Remember: “What we do for ourselves dies with us; what we do for others lives forever”