Okay that is IT. I hate labels. I’ve always hated labels. Labels are those words that supposedly speak so you don’t have to. Why is that kid like that? Oh he’s a “goth”–why is she so smart? She’s Asian. We use these labels as answers for “why,” when all they really say is the “what.” And even that they don’t do well.

Sometimes they are useful. We can’t always take time to explore every aspect of every person, but if we fall to constant labeling, then unconsciously, we don’t take the time to understand them for not just what, but why they are. These labels are gross oversimplifications of reality, things just aren’t as clear cut as they make them seem.

Today, chaos ensued at our first Religious Roundtable Seminar because of a label I used for myself. I declared myself as a “progressive Christian” early on, mainly because I needed substance to back my beliefs (as I had very little biblical material in front of me) and in fact the term (loosely used) progressive Christianity includes many denominations, and many MILLIONS of people. But a lot of people, especially the more conservative Christians (i.e. Talia) either didn’t seem to understand where I was coming from, but I think that ironically my labeling of my own self as “liberal” brought in some unintended connotations. Connotations like, deviant, false, not true to the text–things like that simply don’t do justice to the complexity of my beliefs.

The fact that I interpreted the Bible rather than taking it in directly seemed to offend and confuse some of the conservative Christians. But there are obvious reasons for this. It is said that the Bible is timeless, to which I agree, but the meaning behind that assertion should be that the message of the Bible is timeless. If you can’t agree with that much, then consider how many translations the Bible has undergone to reach the current King James, or NIV editions. The translators must have done their best to translate the original texts, but it is simply impossible to make a direct, meaning to meaning translation. In that sense, the Bible is much like poetry: make a literal translation and so much is lost in the words, but make a more denotative translation and at least some of the original message is translated. Think of the purpose of writing itself–why do we write? As my “Writing with a Purpose” book suggests, the purpose of writing is the transmission of ideas, and the ideas in the Bible are far deeper than the words and stories. I don’t need Bible quotes to substantiate my claims here, logic is enough.

In that regard, I’d like to say that I in fact have not deviated from the original spirit of the texts–the message behind the words (which clearly have to be interpreted) is obviously more important than the words, stories, and parables used to deliver the message. Now granted that, and given the changes to our society, and even our definitions of certain seemingly absolutes at the time of the Bible’s writing, must we not change our interpretations on how the biblical messages apply to our lives today? It’s important to clarify here that changing our “interpretation” is not changing the message, but rather changing how we apply the texts so that the message remains the same. The Framers of the Constitution clearly wrote it to be flexible and to be able to support an evolving society. In the same way, the Bible’s message, if truly meant to be timeless, must be adapted accordingly.

I hate myself for not being able to speak coherently today at RR. In my mind, I came up with an awesome string of ideas, clear in delivery, clear in logic, and just the right thing to say. But as I ran through the bullets in my head over and over, I kept getting lost in the order (going back and forth on my points), screwed up on extemporaneous delivery (I couldn’t speak coherently for more than ten words at a time), and ultimately, failed to convince those conservatives, as well as falling in my own standards. Worst of all though, I think I undermined my own position. Talia is very smart, and very firm on her personal beliefs (something I respect greatly )–she knows what is believing, but as she said in her example (about accepting Truth over self-centered pride) she clearly showed her willingness to change if presented a solid enough case. And it is here that I have fallen on many fronts. By having such a weak showing the entire cause of “Progressive Christianity” was shamed, and for that reason, and more so, to avoid (unintentional) prejudice, I am renouncing the label “progressive/liberal Christian”. No longer will I call myself by that label, no longer will that label be used to substantiate my views. I am a Christian, under God, following every precept dictated by the message of the Book, follower of the Son, and the Living God that is the Holy Spirit. In the end, that is what matters most about being a Christian. Religious fundamentalism is not just a anachronistic path, it goes against the message of the Bible. I see that, and (if I can present it right) I’m sure that other people will see that as well. But no more labels! I will continue to support the cause, but as of this moment, I renounce the label.

Nov 5 (7:33 PM)- It looks like I’m sitting here once again, in essay writing class, without anything to write because the stupid internet can’t seem to register the existence of the file I uploaded this morning. After spending about fifteen minutes trying to salvage the file, I decided that—nah—not worth it. The teacher is standing about twenty feet from me… and I’m wondering how I would get out of the situation I’m in if she should come over here. What situation? It’s just not working, not my fault. But I have the feeling that she’s just too stupid to understand. So contingency plan… oh screw the contingency plan. If I get screwed, then I’ll get screwed. I’ve been surviving on the edge for the past three months, completing final drafts of assignments minutes before they’re due; glaring at her long enough to arouse her suspicion. At first I thought she just disapproved of my projected aloofness, but soon I learned that she was just negative universally. Jason was over here a few minutes ago, talking about our college mess. Then she comes along, with a smug smile… not a smile of “I caught you!” satisfaction, but more like a stupid little smile that’s been ground into her face.

Emily can play her game. I’m watching her right now, smiling a seemingly genuine smile, laughing at MB’s jokes; laughter purely out of courtesy, obviously just to earn MB’s approval. I’d like to congratulate her—she’s doing what I’d never be able to do. I can’t just pretend to smile—when I’m pissed, I’m pissed, and I’d like to show it. Such a phony smile… I’d like to get in a place where my grades aren’t at the mercy of MB. I’ll bet that she’s totally incompetent—she likes to say things like “You’re high school seniors. I don’t even have to tell my freshmen kids what to do. You guys are old enough to know what you’re supposed to be doing. At least I hope you do…” like she did after Jason was pulled over to his side of the bay. Pathetic.

Yet Emily’s smart, and I’m sure she shares this revulsion of MB, and even so, she can play her game. I wish I could do that. My  biggest qualms with my teachers deal with my “attitude.” Well they’re teachers, of course I have to give them respect, but when they don’t deserve it, some of my true thoughts find themselves rising up to the surface. Some teachers have their own attitude problems—like MB—she has very little real respect for her students. Yet she has power that she doesn’t deserve, and that power keeps the dichotomy going.

I’ve changed a lot of perceptions about this class. I thought in the beginning that MB, though sadly slow in her teaching, generally had the right idea. I was since proven wrong. But enough about this class, and MB, I have better things to write about, to talk about, to think about. Moving on now…

First contact

At lunch today, I had the pleasure of meeting Sherry. Haha—I have to laugh. Not at her… well, not really at her. She’s like a lot of the freshmen that come in—and in so many ways, she’s a lot like how I used to be—highly critical, disinclined to swearing. She has a powerful personal voice yet senselessly lost in the high school scene. She thinks she knows what’s “cool” and what’s “weird” (I apparently fell into the latter category), but what she doesn’t yet see is that, it really doesn’t matter. You’re can be perceived as cool, or weird, or whatever– really doesn’t matter—I am what I want to be, and when people feel they need to be critical—I can always smile because I know I’m satisfied with my own personality. (Kathryn has been turning to this lately… but that’s another story) Now, putting that all aside (it’s natural for freshmen to do that), I’ve decided that she’s pretty cool—in my own terms.

It was actually the book she had that caught my attention—Wheel of Time, book five. For those who don’t know, its a fantasy series by Robert Jordan, very intricately written, strong in idea as well as story. I put down Dragonlance, so that I could read the first book, The Eye of the World, and I was pretty impressed… before I had to put that down to read The Order of the Phoenix (which I also failed to finish reading—this time because of The Picture of Dorian Gray).

Anyway, she enjoys reading, and writing as well, which is awesome–difference between me and her (besides the obvious) is that she has a little bit more direction in herself. She may be lost, but she doesn’t let that keep her from plowing along, trying to insult innocent seniors like myself. I wish I had the time to know her–I want to see how she changes as high school wears on. I’m not saying that high school will brainwash her into a collective consciousness; but it will change her, open her up to new ideas.

In that regard, I can see the appeals of being a teacher. You get to watch kids grow as people, not just physically, but the entire maturing of a person from kid to adulthood. It’s quite remarkable to think about, and I can only assume that the joys of being a teacher or a parent are similar.

I have a lot of other things I want to write about, but I don’t have time–right now, more college essays await my burning personality.

Lataz!

Oct 22 – Well, I had a lot of fun today–being dragged down to the guidance office to have a chat about a “big problem.” Apparently, I’ve been pushing through the limits of several copyright and trademark laws with the material on my site and the Scholastic Bowl website which I administer. Don’t know what illegal things that your friendly friend Xander could have done? Well let’s start with using the “Huskie™” symbol. Yes, these “wonderful” artists have copyrighted the Husky™ symbol and our principal (I’m not sure if I’m allowed to use his name) wants to STRICTLY control its usage. I thought that fair use laws would cover me using the images, especially since I’m a student at North (is that trademarked too?)–AND since it’s the district is a public facility–thus, being in the public domain, but as our librarian said I’d better “err on the side of caution.” The real problem she continued is that one parent out there that somehow accidentally stumbles across Angelex, and somehow gets into his/her head that my site, is the school site. And also seeing the “demonic” nature of my site (refering to the angel and the dragon on the top left and right), be shocked, and slap a lawsuit on the district for condoning it. HAH! That would be classic! I maintained my posture as she spoke, (it’s good to be mature when talking business) but inside, I was cracking up at the idea. What kind of parent would do that?

If any of you people reading this are parents, and somehow are offended because this pertains to you–please go to disney.com or some other mind friendly site, where you can continue to be ignorant sheep. When you’re on MY site–I say MINE because this is MY personal site, governed by the First Amendment and the will of my mind–you will see what I put up. Angelex (in spite of its original intentions) does not exist to make you happy, to represent District 203, OR to teach your kids demonology. If you don’t like what I have to say–go away! But if I were you, I’d at least be a little more thick-skinned about it.

I’m not saying this to spite the district, but to the sad idea that there ARE people out there willing to go to those crazy lengths to earn a quick buck–because that’s ALL that there is to gain from it. You people are all intelligent, educated, aware adults (at least mentally), and you people know better than to be personally offended when a teen puts up his ideas. I don’t intend to insult anyone, I’m just saying–wake up! This world is NOT just your ideal world, and there are people out there–real people, with real ideas. If you haven’t got that yet, you might want to get your head out of the clouds, and take a close look at the gritty (figuratively) halls of our school. That’s all I have to say.

Oh, and let me make this clear (see? I’m always thinking of the slower people out there who just can’t seem to infer things on their own)–this site is in no way affiliated with Naperville North High School, Naperville Community School District 203, nor do I represent the whole of either. But I AM a student at NNHS, and I do represent myself, a piece of NNHS. This is a fact, but it WON’T keep me from expressing myself as who I am. I may just be one student out of 3000+, but I’m one with the will and means to voice out what I want to say. I’d love to say that my words speak for everyone when I say my opinions, or even when I write what I think is true, but I am just my own person, as is everyone else. (wow, that sentence had 5 “I”‘s in it) Honestly speaking though–I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So yes, to all you kids out there. If you guys don’t want to bother with the system, and swim around in the safe little kiddy swimming pen that we’re put in–then like our librarian said, “err on the side of caution.” But if you’re like me… and can’t stand being anyone but yourself… give yourself a pat on the back for your audacity and be proud–but be smart too–when you’re out there in the open water, you’re swimming with the sharks. Don’t worry though–we’re ahead of the game. This truth is going to be a part of life for the majority of our existence, might as well get used to it. Know your rights, but know your limits.

Lata!