Category: life

Xander’s College Life – Epilogue

All good things…

Class of 2008. Those were the words I read over and over again in 2004 as a freshman entering Assembly Hall, along with the eight thousand or so others in our bright orange “Freshmen” shirts, excited/apprehensive. The year seemed more of a concept than an actual time, really, they might have well said Class of the 22nd Century. Yet now, here we are, in September of 2008, all graduated and well into the next step of our lives. What does this all mean? Unlike the last pivotal transition (from high school to college) which I brutally documented so often, I’ve been very negligent to reflect on this one at all. Quite a shame, given how significant and unique each story is.

But it wasn’t sheer laziness that kept me from writing, oh dear readership–but I think… I needed to make sense of the whole college story before I could move onto reflecting about my present, and quite honestly, I still haven’t made all that much sense of it–especially the last… 3 years or so. School, friendships, relationships, etc… all of it was a blur that got blurrier the longer I gave. The greatest message I got though, as Frost said about life, was that “it goes on”. Whether or not I”m ready to understand the significance of what I went through during those days/months/years, more will come. And the key lesson here is, without looking back, without reflecting on the moments that our lives are made of as we experience them (or soon after), they will be forgotten, and before we know it, more days/months/and years will have gone by as well.

Well. Can’t let that happen, can I?

But if there’s another thing that I’ve learned in the last four years it’s that there is so much in life, that you lose more in the present than you could ever gain by holding onto the past. This is a very important period in my life, here in the Fall of 2008, and while I reflect on occasion to four years ago, I will continue to blog about the here and now.

So, here’s a brief cheer to everything that college was–in terms of friendships, relationships, classes, and life lessons–may we all take what we need, and move onto the next steps more learned and more prepared than we could have been without it. I’ll reflect more on the past in the days to come.

New beginnings.

Every now and then, you need to sit down, free your mind of your current mood, and get ready for a new age. For me, now is one of those times. One month before the biggest most exciting change of my life, transitioning from a child still dependent on my parents’ allowance, to completely taking care of myself–in a new city, new position, with new surroundings.

Yes, I’m excited. Yes, I’m a little anxious. But hell yes, I’m ready for a new beginning.

College was great, I met awesome people, learned an amazing amount of stuff that I was barely aware of beforehand, but also to never confuse my career with my life. Moderation is everything; that’s one of the wise words that Beckman left behind, and something that I still have yet to fully learn. The great balancing act continues…

New beginnings are a great moment to renew yourself, but I’m still not perfect, going into this next step. I go into this next step with a partially undefined future–but like my weaknesses, this also presents a strength: Anything is possible.

Onward! New blog, new beginnings!

Purpose in an unguided world

There comes a time when each person is forced to consider their life’s destiny; their story, if you will. Those with lost hopes on the street were not always so, yet at some point, they transitioned from being people with hopes and dreams to adults, where living day-to-day has replaced any sort of adventure.

It is a terrible transition and one that I am refusing to ever fall into. But of course, no one ever *wants* to become a hopeless wretch without dreams or purpose; where happiness is a transient whim that can come and go without control. How does it happen then, that so many people live having settled for mediocrity, not in jobs or love… but in their lives, entirely?

At what point do we give up on the hope of happiness, and meaning? I don’t know… but I’ve always been afraid of giving up on dreams. THis leads me to ask myself again, just to be sure that I haven’t lost mine… what “is” my end?

Am I meant to be happy? Successful? Purposeful in this greater world? Impacting the lives of those closest to me; or will my greatest impact be to those that I have never met?

I’ve met so many people that are jaded in their views, those that have had a brutal transition from childhood naivety into adulthood realism. It’s a terrible shame, and I’m beginning to wonder if there is any real hope in letting them find their dreams again. And more importantly, to accept happiness when it comes knocking at their door. This is a sad world right now… and I’m taking this moment now to wonder what I can do to make the lives of those closest to me, a little better.