(from Xanga)…

and here I am!

There. I love how I have a couple more degrees of freedom in LJ. It doesn’t help reflecting to engage in a censoratory metacognition at the same time. So what’s up? Entering a realm of decadance are we? I really don’t know anymore. I have people that will be more than glad to tell me that recent history is either laudable or punishable by an eternal banishment. Haha… it’s funny how split my world can be, especially when we’re just talking about dreams.

But I think Carrot had the best advice to give, and sure, I blew it off then, but… now it’s coming back to haunt me. This isn’t a matter of pride, shame, right, wrong, nor of catharsis or repentance, but rather… an unanswered question of “what now?”

I’ve gone through extremes over the past 48 hours, typical of me to explore both ends of the hallway before taking the door right in front of me, but I think… things need to catch up. As in seriously, even Fei fei has said that “the right thing at the wrong time, is the wrong thing”. Quite true, and like most all of life, it’s all about timing. This situation that has arisen, bountiful something and a scarce another, is a severe imbalance, and no matter what your faith, moral code, values, etc…, unbalanced equations just don’t work.

🙂

I’ve been having some weird dreams lately, haven’t I? Reflecting to let myself catch up…