Oh just filler material

So I think I need to write here more, because, (in no particular order) (a) my Xanga is nothing but a front (An excellent front where I can maintain some semblance to being completely normal, but alas, my personal philosophy says that normal sucks and I have no purpose being on this earth if I intend to spend it being “normal”), (b) Vicky’s posts are taking up more than 80% of all my friends entries, (c) I’m about to update my Xanga, and historically, for the most part, I’ve updated both at the same time. So there.

Now what was I saying?

I’m actually becoming slightly concerned for my employment prospects for this summer. Yeah, so there’s still some time. A lot of people I know have their summer ’07 plans all finalized, doing internships, summer school, traveling, etc… Not very much actually, engineering positions are usually filled in last, and I still have several interviews to go, but still; it’s rather unsettling when most everyone else I know has some idea of where they’re going, and I’m still trying to get offers.

~~~

I’m also beginning to think that I’m losing my moral compass… …no, actually I’m beginning to think that I chucked that little guide at some rock a while back and I’m only now realizing that I can’t get anywhere without it. Sure, I can play by ear, as one suggested to be before, but seriously… how long can that go?

I guess what I’m really trying to say is… well, like how I feel about the summer: I have no idea where I’m going, except that I’m just going, one step at a time, ahead a little bit with whatever seems best at that moment (i.e. utilitarianism, which I think, isn’t a form of normative ethics at all). Maybe I’ve finally given up trying to be something epic, and settled for… well, my own life.

And to be honest, I think I’ve lost something;

A sense of direction.
A sense of purpose.
Some reason for why I’m living.

Dammit, this sucks!

  • yeah, i’ve been freaking out about summer stuff too and i have no idea what to do which is so bad when people are like… yeah, i’m working at NASA for the 2nd summer in a row. =/

    taking one step at a time isn’t a bad plan. i have also lost my sense of why i’m doing this but i’m beginning to enjoy it more. haha.. totally useless i know but oh well..