So, an update. At a time when every hour could make a difference, I’m making an update in my Xanga. Maybe this is why I’m having such a hard time catching up.

I’m in what could be an academic panic zone. Imagine not studying NEARLY enough for a HUGE exam that could be one of your last chances to pull your grades up from the abyss, and then, the day before the exam, you find out you have yet ANOTHER exam in another class (in a similarly dire situation, gradewise) where you’re not at ALL prepared in. Then imagine not waking up in time to finish online homework that’s due that day, and finding out that YES that lab you’ve been working on for two weeks IS due today, there IS piano class today, and yes, you’re still stuck here among the living.

It’s mind numbing. I think I’ve gone beyond the point of panic and fear, to where I see my death coming and there’s nothing I can do about it…

…but hell no. I will not go quietly into silence, killed by organic chemistry and theoretical mechanics… because you know what? It just ain’t gonna be like that. I’ve just been reminded that even in what seems like the most dismal situations imaginable, things can always get worse… but they can always get better.

With encouragement packages, and rekindled hopes in times of fear… I’m in a good mood~ I know there’s a way… Sq says I’m lucky… not so. I resort to extreme measures in times like this. But that’s what I have to do to survive. I will survive. I will prevail. And things will be okay.

But…

…God I’m scared.

On a happier note–I’ve managed to circumvent the security measures on my own computer:

FINALLY, I get to read these juicy secrets of mine…

As a side note, I try not to “brag” about missing class–rather the sheer number is a point of disgust, which may bring me motivation to change my habits. LoL, of course that’s my post-facto modifications of intentions, but whateva. Yeah, I’ve missed a lotta classes. Hopefully not too many more.