Lose yourself, as long as you can get yourself back

This will probably be the shortest interval between entries ever, but sitting around and bumming some more has put me in a mode of reflection.

I think my life has taken a turn for the normal recently, and by normal, I mean nothing I ever usually deal with. Would it be weird to say that I’m a novice at actually living life real-time?

I suppose I need to give my mind some time to catch up with my life.

I remember holding great fear that I would eternally be an observer in my own life, at least when it came to people, living in reaction to my social surroundings, a center of my own story in my head, but still feeling that I needed to know the rules before I could play. At some point I realized that nobody knowns all the rules, and that even without knowing the rules, you can live anyway…

—-

But that’s okay. I’m not in a mood to write about personal history.

It’s okay to lose yourself in the moment, but as long as you can get yourself back

  • I’ve been trying to think of something to write here for the past ten minutes, but still i find it hard to write what i want to say.  rules? there are no rules to the game of life, there is no handbook that everyone receives when they are born.  You aren’t alone in feeling like you don’t know anything because no one person knows everything.  Instead, you live life in groups, with everyone knowing something that you don’t, but you also knowing something that they dont. 

    I’m glad that you’ve taken control 🙂

  • woow dude.. honestly enuf i still feel that way. there was maybe a year of history (that u know bout) but besides that, since i can remember…i’ve always felt like an observer from a 3rd party staring blanky, unflinchingly at the events that occur in my life. I still do..but i’m glad to know someone’s moving ahead.
    liked what u said bout the rules…had a similar conclusion a while back on my xanga. glad 2 know we still think alike. (lol, i can imagine your reaction to that one!!! What?!? what is this?! look at this fool! hahahah!! OMG you’re such an idiot jay!) but whether u like it r not i think we do think alike. hmm..thought never occured to me before….
    latez K.P.
    ~jay