I wonder how resilient I really am

I really wonder sometimes if I can keep up in my faith, my beleif’s in people. Some have managed to consistently, in spite of so much, prove themselves over and over again, and I’ve noted that. But maybe they were just lucky. Lucky for me though I’m not one to live in ignorance, and thankfully, I see this as an opportunity for change.

Mistakes have been made, and unseen boundaries crossed. Trusts broken, and I had all but lost hope. I need to know, I NEED TO KNOW–AM I being STUPID?

So strong, yet so vulnerable…

I think that’s why I always admired expert martial artists so much, to be able to trust someone with your life… there’s something beautiful about that. (Think Animatrix)! Yet nobody’s perfect, and regardless of how much faith and hope you lend, hurt will find its way through one way or another. But there are instances when it makes more sense to take the risk, because somethings in life are just controlled insanity. And against all odds, this hero will jump first… and fear later.

Why is it that I have so much faith in you? Really? I question it now, and it has never EVER been as tested so much as it has. Perhaps your friend was right–it will either go up or down from here–and of course, I always hate stagnating. I can think about this all night–but like I said, thoughts alone are dangerous.

Maybe I’m just being stupid. Heh–but I don’t think I’m quite insane yet.

Just what are you still hiding?

  • Oh.. the birthday.. what is it.. now five years? six years? damn.. we’ve known each other too long.. =P
  • too long indeed